<blog dedicated to my Business Fellowship Travel for the month of October. Pls follow me on this remarkable  journey.>

Advancement  in growth is often achieved when you are in situations beyond your comfort zone.    I’m just completing Day 1 of the Business for Diplomatic Action(BDA) Fellowship program.  BDA is a two way exchange between Arabs and Americans with the ultimate goal of breaking down stereotypes, better understanding each other’s cultures and building bridges to the world.  No, not all Arab women wear head wraps and not all Americans dine on fast food 24X7.

Today’s activities opened dialogue that will aid in this quest for the truth and clarity that we are more alike than we are different.  We are not one size fit all and our differences can be used to make us stronger. We have a wonderful group of fellows with so many different backgrounds.  I was frankly amazed at the various experiences, education and travel contained in one room.  We covered all kinds of topics as we were getting acquainted including head wraps or not, women in the work place in Dubai, who extends the hand shake first and locations where women do not shake hands with men.  True to form, there were vast differences in cultures between a south carolinian and fellows from Iowa that were worthy of discussion as well.  

It dawned on me that I have never traveled to Iowa.  Here I find myself headed to Dubai and Egypt; yet never traveled to Iowa.  I bet there is a ton of culture for me to experience in Iowa.  I’ll add that to my bucket list.

The factoids for today that resonated most are 55% of an opinion that people form about you in the first 30 seconds is based on how we look and more importantly 85% of your job success is connected to your people skills.

So getting out of your comfort zone may require us all to connect beyond our typical network.  I’m so excited about this program giving me that opportunity. I can already see that Dubai is the place where people move to work.  Just like many of us move from rural towns to work in more technologically advanced areas, Dubai seems to be very similar in that way.  In talking with a fellow from Cairo, Egypt, this was not an easy transition for her or her family but one where she experienced a ton of growth.

What are some ways today that you can identify with that may get you out of your comfort zone?  That’s where your growth resides.  Let me know what you come up with and I’ll be checking back in when I arrive in Dubai.

Developing the habit of saying thank you is a fundamental skill that should rank right up there with teaching your kids how to potty or how to ride a bicycle or drive a car.

I’m likely one of the few die hards left that still believe in the value of writing hard copy thank you notes.  I keep 2 to 3 boxes on hand in my office.    Additionally, we have a household rule that you cannot enjoy the birthday presents given until the thank you notes are in the mailbox.  My son often screams, “why can’t I send an email?”    My typical response is the person giving you this gift, took time out of their day, most likely left work early to mail this gift to you; the least you can do is write a thank you note in return.

So often, networks are broken,  repeat business dissipates and relationships aren’t maintained because we fail to offer our appreciation and gratitude.   Last week, I saw an antique car on the road that reminded me of the car my cousin’s father drove us to high school in every day.  The car was an old Pacer Model and immediately drew out  feelings and memories of him picking me up every morning,  going out of his way to encourage me to excel in school and providing the cool option of not having to ride the bus.

I pulled over at that exact moment, called him and said thank you!  It made him feel good, brought so many laughs and it deepened my appreciation for what leaders do.  We help even when it’s not required and always have a heart of gratitude and appreciation towards others.

Is there some one you need to thank today?  You will be amazed at how embracing the diligence of saying thank you will move you closer to your life’s purposes and goals.  Someone will remember your heart of gratitude when you need an opportunity door or two opened on your behalf.

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Do you know where you are growing to?  In a graduation speed written by Dr. Seuss, he wisely states:

“You have brains in your head

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

Any direction you choose.”

 You choose.  That is the most powerful part of his statement.  What are you choosing for you?  What actions are you taking every day to aid in your personal growth and development?   What are you choosing by not choosing?  If an answer doesn’t arrive quickly for you, try reflecting on how you spent your time last week.  What percentage of your week did you focus on your personal growth and development strategies?    

The growth you expect will not naturally happen.  You create the growth you need by getting busy and staying actively involved in making this change happen. 

As Dr. Seuss eloquently says and I agree 100%  with him although I paraphrased his words slightly.  Sorry Dr!.  

“You’re on your own.

And you know what you know.

And YOU are the one who’ll decide where you GROW!  

 Have a great week everyone.  Be very deliberate about the growth you want to see.

 Barbara

 We are coming off of a pretty tough past couple of weeks with many families losing their loved ones. In my prayers this morning, I asked God for a less intense week on the emotional side so I can focus!  Although, it wasn’t my family, I could relate to the loss.

 Whether you are a Michael Jackson fan, puzzled by the Steve McNair mistress tragedy, touched by the fighting spirit of Farah Fawcett, or reflecting on a loss of your own; death brings about moments of introspection.  

 It is often during these times that we cut to the chase rather quickly on coming to terms with the reality of our own longevity.  It is during these times that we call into question our true meaning and purpose.  Many of us ponder if we are on track to our life goals or not. What are we on this Earth to do?

 All great thoughts to process; It is a great time to ponder and an awesome time to thank those in your life that you value and love.  Bring more focus this week to all of these things and begin to tackle challenges now that will make a huge difference in the quality of your life.

 Here are 5 key skills that you will need to pack along with you to succeed at almost anything including improving your quality of life.  There are many others but this is a solid must have set to get us up and moving towards our goals.

 1) Self Management – “This above all, -To thy own self, be true!”   You must have a strong sense of your strengths as well as your weaknesses.  In minutes, you should be able to articulate what works for you and have the ability to quickly discern between what  a great working environment looks like for you vs a poor one.  We cannot run away from our weaknesses. Manage them too. Be honest about them and incorporate a plan around how best to manage them including calling in the experts when needed.   The better you know self, the better you will be able to choose ripe environments for you to excel.  It can be as simple as knowing your prime productive hours or as complicated as knowing the required Myers Briggs leadership style of your manager.   

2) Planning and Execution – It is golden to plan and platinum to act on the plan.  Your plan is just a piece of paper until you put some feet on the plan. Get that plan to walking! To be successful, you must have the ability to critically think, take in various pieces of information and translate all of that into an actionable plan both short and long term.  In parallel with planning is the execution.  It is crucial to act.  Actions separate the “wannabees” from the “get er dones!” 

3) Networking – Leaders that are the most influential, get the most done (results) and at the same time maintain high quality trust relationships are those who will have mastered the art of networking.  We were created to be in fellowship with each other.  We will not be productive long term in isolated environments.  A viable and healthy network can put your plans, ideas into action and in places where you personally cannot reach. Let your network help you achieve your dreams. Thank them often and try giving them more than you receive. 

4) An Avid and Active Learner – No one has to tell you how quickly things change in our economy. By the time you starting using your new cell phone, the manufacturer has released an upgrade.  Similarly, you want to be able to be just that flexible and agile as it relates to work.  When one program shuts down, everyone knows you can take on this new challenge because you saw it coming and was already preparing yourself in advance for the change. I know a custom builder that was excelling in the housing market builde craze of two years ago.  When that came to a screeching halt, it didn’t deter him. He took those same skills, transferred them and is now excelling at home renovations and other build projects. We have to stay on top of everything; learning, reading, exposure beyond your comfort zone and never feeling like you know it all will keep you poised well for success.

 5) Relaxing and Self Care – My brother, Marvin, would call this, “knowing when to hold and knowing when to fold.”  We have to prioritize our self care and relaxation as #1.  Stress is bad for you and bluntly, will kill you.  Being able to laugh and finding a way to manage yourself without injury even during your most stressful moments is a key to success.  According to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), the U.S. agency responsible for conducting research and making recommendations for the prevention of work-related illness and injury, 40 percent of workers reported their job was very or extremely stressful. This means we need to have readily available a fire proof way to fight stress.  Think of it as a stress extinguisher. Just as you would have one ready for fire, have one handy for stress.  You may need the travel kind that you can also carry on the road (smile!!) 

Here’s to a good week of introspection and planning.  Remember to secure that stress extinguisher if you do not already have one.  Let me know how things are going.  Feel free to share your top 5 or other skills missing from the list above. 

Cheers, Barbara

Many of us have a strong desire to make positive change in our lives.  This change may take on the look of wanting to change our diet, clutter, careers, finances and even our relationships. 

We most often know in pretty exact terms what life would look like if we were able walk and live in this new light.   “If I can lose 10 lbs or exercise 3X per week or move from screaming daily at my son about his dirty bathroom.  If I could save $200/week or if I can shift to a new role in 12 months or if I can complete my degree?”

Why then is it so difficult to make a shift when our goals are clear?   

While it is difficult and complex to know all of the reasons, a large portion of the answer resides in the slow motion of our habits.  It is often in the root of our day to day tasks and activities.  

I’m a recovering shoes and clothes shop a holic.   It’s been one year now since I’ve made the shift from shopping for the XXXth pair of shoes to living with less volume.   It’s been a remarkable shift for me.  The change didn’t occur however until I took a deep dive and analyzed my habits and actions in really, really slooooow motion.  The intervention that shifted me closer to my goal was stopping me at the trigger point that initiated the urge for me to make a purchase.

Perhaps you can choose 1 habit this week that you’d like to shift to get you closer to your goals.  Try these steps and share your results with someone in 4 weeks and every 4 weeks after that until you have this new habit down for 90 days.  I’d love to hear your successes and failures.  And oh by the way, I am now working on personal change #2 – how to rid of mounds of paperwork.   My approach to this shift will be the same. Treat the challenge at its root,  be honest with myself about what I’m giving up by not making this shift and get moving toward the desired change.

 Step 1:  Acknowledge the habit you wish to shift and be clear and honest with yourself about why.  What’s bringing this to your attention right now?

Step 2:  Write down the cost to you if you do not shift away from this habit.  Answer this question. What’s the impact to me now if I do not change anything about this habit?

Step 3:  Visualize what success would look like and how you would know you are being successful?  I always like to celebrate wins too.  Be sure to include recognition goals for yourself as well.

Step 4:  Enlist the help of an expert, coach or consultant.  For ex, in my case, I utilized a closet organizer. We made some key agreements on the # of shoes I’d commit to only having, # of black pants, etc. etc.   This was a huge learning for me. Sometimes you just can’t go at these things alone.  You may want a personal coach or trainer as an example for expertise and added accountability.  

Step 5: Slow down and really think about what is triggering you to sustain this habit?  It will be easier to keep doing the same old same.  Begin journaling your thoughts in the moment.  For ex.  Every time I get the urge to buy another pair of shoes, I stop myself, review my goals of being clutter free.  Before buying something new, I am now automatically thinking through the item to throw out.  I operate under buy 1 item, throw 1 out.   You’ll be amazed at what you learn about yourself from this process.

 So, give it a try and keep in mind that one key to breaking an unwanted habit is to become closely connected to your thinking.  Increase your ability to focus in slow motion and with a big microscope at the habit’s point of origin.  This will aid you greatly in busting through an unwanted habit.

In the next couple of months, many companies and organizations alike will kick off their 2010 planning and budget process.   Many of us are quite familiar with this process as we have either led these strategic planning processes for our organizations or we’ve provided necessary input many times over.

 While we do this for our companies and our big projects at work, many of us do not prioritize this very important annual exercise for ourselves and neither do we apply the same level of diligence in the planning for our very own personal goals or our longer term vision for ourselves.

What if you were asked about your company’s plan for the next quarter and in the same conversation asked about your own personal goals for the next quarter?  Many of us would be fluent on the company’s goals but would flounder on our personal goals.

Just supposed we took the same care and diligence this year to perform a strategic planning session for 2010 for us, for our personal goals.  What if we stopped to assess our strengths, weaknesses, opportunities or threats in the way of our personal success?  What if we simply stopped ourselves to reawaken the vision within us that we’ve allowed to stay buried underneath layers and layers of fear?  What if we took some positive steps in the direction of  realigning our day to day activities towards those tasks and habits that will move us closer to our longer term personal goals and dreams?

Try the following steps as a part of your upcoming budget and planning process for you!

1)  First, draw up your vision board or key vision themes of what you want success to look like in a finite period of time.  Start with over the next year just to ensure the goals are tangible.  You may want to ask yourself some key questions that will aid you with your vision.  Ex.  What would I be doing if I knew I could not fail?  What am I crazy passionate about?  If I am being successful in 2010, what would that look like?

 2)  What are 3 things I can do in the next quarter that would move me closer towards my success goals? 

 3)   What does my support structure need to look like that will enable a faster speed and steady path toward achieving my goals?  Who or what things do I need to move out of the way that are no longer serving me?  Are there habits that need to be broken or new habits that I need to create to aid me in my journey towards getting closer to my end state goals?

 Once you’ve completed these 3 steps, consider enlisting a coach or a support buddy that will keep you on your toes and inquire frequently about your progress.  You do not want to share your vision with just anyone.  Make sure it’s someone you trust versus a vision buster. 

 This will be a great first start towards you moving closer to your dreams and I wish you well as you start this very important journey. 

 Unless you have a definite, precise, clear set of goals, you are not going to realize the maximum potential that lies within you. -Zig Ziglar

Welcome to my coaching blog.   Thank you for dropping by and do let me know if this information has been helpful.  Please also include topics you’d like for me to share that will aid you in gaining your best life!  This is your time.